Autism and Christmas

Hello everyone. Today I wanted to talk about Christmas and how me having autism effects my feelings about it. Now as always this is just my perspective and is not true for everyone with autism. I have autistic friends who love Christmas and the lights and the sounds but for me its not that fun.

One thing i hate more than anything else is the unknown. I struggle to do things if i do not know enough information. With holidays like Christmas I can feel nervous as it is very relaxed. I have no clue what time I will need to be awake at. I don't know what I will be doing in the day time. There are no scheduled times for eating. How much social interaction do i need to partake in to not be seen as rude and antisocial. Will someone try to hug me. These are all questions I have on my mind but I know that there is no simple answer. For the simple reason being some things cannot be predicted and when you have as big a family as my own there are too many variables. Anything could happen and that frightens me.

My sensory issues always have a field day around the time of Christmas as there are so many lights and sound. It can feel overwhelming and exhausting. Why must people put up bright, obnoxious lighting that are disorientating and migraine inducing. Even for a neurotypical person it must start to get a bit much to deal with. And don't get me started on the fire work crazed hooligans whom all seem to reside in my local area. Everything seems to be cause for celebration to them and when actual holidays come around they go insane. All hours of the night loud explosions can be heard. It makes me feel utterly homicidal.

I also hate the thought of any focus going on myself. It makes me feel nervous and jumpy. I worry that i will do or say the wrong thing. What if i upset someone. What if i freak out and everyone looks at me. So at times something simple such as opening a present can feel like you are trying to defuse a bomb infront of a live studio audience.

So this is my blog post telling you about all things i hate about Christmas. I hope you enjoyed it.